my residency at ntu has taken me deep into a space that is uncomfortable. the space i talk of is within me, not the institution. my sonics research has got to a point where i hate what i've done, to the point of wanting to give it all up and get a job in morrisons.
so i've bought some time to reflect by building a website and offering to re-decorate a friends bedroom. i feel it's an importnat time for me to be good to myself before returnng to the soncs research to find some sort of resolution of the enquiry. aa2a has given me way to much rope, it almost became fatal. i've realised in time. as i drink tea and dunk digestif biscuit with a near k&d track for company, i saw the need to document where i am now as i want to be able to look back on where i was, even though i still don;t have a feeling for where i'm going. i have no idea if this is a recognised space inthought to be. i am also connected with a feeling of what it is that is holding me back. i see only one way through this and that is to make things about it. that will happen in time. there's a two week period now where i can do things for me and look forward to coming back to my practice.
i heard with interest this morning about the bourgeois exhibition at the freud museum in london. there's also a new work by brisley on show in london at the moment.
i've been considering performace based work of the 1970's of late. i've not yet worked out why this is so.
oh the joy of self discovery and reason.