from an end becomes a beginning.

i'm sure that's a quote and it would be a little unfair to attribute it as so many have said it to me.  however i will say thank you to alison for being the latest to say it to me in our last aa2a session.  in preparing for that session, i rather went through a lot as suddenly there was a need to contemplate something 'to show' for what i've been doing.  i feel this is a social convention that i applied to myself, instead of it being integral to the aa2a process that i embarked on.

so i've reflected upon this.  i put myself through a tough process of 'making something' as it was too easy and unfulfilling to do nothing to mark the end of a period of time.  in that period of time i was quite literally free to play.  this has been a very valuable experience as i see now that in my professional career to date i have never been able to play and explore with no outcome preprescribed by the process about to happen.

last week i freaked out rather, describing the whole thing as a succesful failure.  it's not a failure as i am informed by what i've been through and in a position to consider a further line of study that i was not considering at the beginning of the residency.

as a result of the residency i have alot of 'made things' that i can take with me into the next phase of development of a work that is still in development.  

as i am reflecting and finishing i would like to take a moment to thank the staff and artists involved in this process.  susan, thank you for your support and and insight.  robert, thank you for our conversations and space to play.  alison, thank you for your insight, bredth of knowledge and for listening.  claire, my best wishes for the nottingham project and i look forward to reading about your future endeavours.  lorenza, thank you for the opportunity to share and discuss about your work and all the debate that it brought about.  madelaine, thank you for listening and debating and i look forward to seeing the results of your playtime.

it's taken me a while to process about this experience. it's been about getting somewhere that is beyond this point and this point serves as a marker to that point.

i feel centred and at peace with myself.

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